How to Overcome Financial Infidelity
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Want to avoid the stress and mess of merging finances? Learn how Tai and Talaat overcame financial infidelity and opposing money styles to become debt free!
Marriage and Financial Infidelity
Financial infidelity can be devastating to your relationship and money. A recent survey found that 60% of Americans keep a secret bank account or credit card from their spouse.
Many times, it's not because someone is trying to ruin their marriage.
They can be hiding these accounts or expenses because they have a sending problem and they're ashamed to admit it.
Or they feel like the budget is too strict and there's not a way to talk it over without starting a fight.
The good news is you can break this cycle and work together.
My buddies Tai and Talaat were financially opposites, but are now an unstoppable team.
They're the founders and hosts of His and Her Money. On their show and podcast, they interview and share stories about improving finances as a couple.
They climb out of the debt trap (twice!).
Today, they're on the show to share their story. We discuss:
- how to find common ground when you have different views on money
- how to overcome financial infidelity
- how to get out of debt as a couple
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Hope you enjoy!
Resources to Help You Merge Your Finances
If you’re looking to get better with your finances together, here are some helpful posts to check out:
- Best Budget and Money Apps: Personal Capital, Tiller, Mint <- Absolutely crucial you two have a way to track your money together
- Grow Your Stash Faster: High Yield Savings with CiT Bank
- Automatic Saving: Qapital
- Jumpstart Your Marriage and Your Money
- How to Talk About Money Without Starting a Fight
- The Things That You Need to Do Today to Make Your Marriage Work for a Lifetime
- My Husband Got Secret Credit Cards and Maxed Them Out
- Staying on Top of Your Money
Meet Tai and Talaat of His and Her Money
Talaat and Tai McNeely “America's #1 Money Couple”, are Financial Educators that are on a mission to get couples on the same page financially, and to experience the joys of financial freedom.
They are co-authors of Money Talks: The Ultimate Couple's Guide To Communicating About Money. They are also the hosts of the top-rated podcast, “The His and Her Money Show“.
Their website, HisandHerMoney.com has been featured in numerous publications such as FoxNews.com, MSN.com, and Business Insider.
Understanding Financial Infidelity
Elle: Last show we went over how important it is to know your numbers.
Today we're looking at the reality of being open and transparent with each other. Financial infidelity can be devastating to your relationship and money.
One in five in that same survey said they spent five hundred dollars or more without their spouse stealing.
There are different reasons for someone to have these accounts or spend that money.
If you want to work through this you want to keep your marriage and fix your finances, it's going to take some work.
You have to address the root cause and come up with a way to re-establish the trust.
Tai and Talaat McNeely went through this as they were planning their wedding.
Talaat: It was day one. He's right before our marriage. We were having the conversations about money ahead of being married and so our personalities came out.
I was the natural spender. I was reckless. I had a bunch of debt. I didn't have a clue at the time and on the other hand, Ty is a natural saver. She was working in financial services perfect credit.
My credit was messed up so it was kind of pretty apparent that we were on two different playing fields when it came to the topic of personal finance and we knew we had to figure it out if we wanted to win.
Tai: We must mention too that in the beginning, we sat down with our pastor to have premarital counseling.
She asked all the right questions and he answered it just like I thought that he should. And I answered just like he thought that I should.
We pulled our credit reports and we reviewed our credit reports so I knew that Tyler had some financial setbacks because clearly, his credit report showed that however, we had a big bump just about three months prior to getting married, when I discovered financial infidelity.
Elle: Most people when they hear financial infidelity their guard goes up.
Here's someone going behind the back of a person they love being reckless with money. But Tai probed and asked questions, she began seeing some of the reasons for Talaat's behavior.
Tai: He was trying to pay it all pay down his entire debt before we got married so I mean he was working more than one job.
He was delivering pizzas and working a full-time job at the time so I just thought I saw a go-getter.
I saw someone that was determined and I was just pumped about it. I was excited but little did I know that he was working his multiple jobs so he can pay off this debt that I was unaware of before we got married.
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This episode was originally released in June 2016. Show notes has been updated March 2019.