When You Can’t Agree on How to Pay Off Your Debt
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Want to pay off your debt, but you can't agree on how to do it? Learn how one couple stopped fighting about money, found a system they both loved and dumped $100k of debt!
How to Stop Fighting About Money
For most couples, coming up with a budget, paying down debt, or saving for a goal takes time.
Even if you both want to save more or dump that debt, you can struggle with creating a plan.
You may want to go their route and your spouse has a different idea (and really why does it seem like it's the complete opposite of yours?!) .
So how can you stop fighting about money and actually work as a team to achieve your goals?
Today Debt Free Divas creator Toni Husbands is here to help. She shares how she and her husband Colin paid off over $100k of debt!
In this episode, we get into:
- how Toni discovered Dave Ramsey and why she was all excited about gazelle intensity
- coming up with a plan that respected both of their ideas
- knocking out that mountain of debt
Hope you enjoy!
Resources to Become Debt Free Together
Tired of being in debt? Here are some resources to help you dump it.
- Best Budget and Money Apps: Personal Capital, Tiller, Mint
- Jumpstart Your Marriage and Your Money
- Paying Off Debts – Before or After
- 5 Books to Motivate and Guide You to Become Debt Free Faster
- Best Strategies to Get Out of Debt
- Paying Off Over $100,000 of Credit Card Debt Together
- Knock Out Your Credit Card Debt
- Best Budget and Money Apps: Personal Capital, Tiller, Mint
- Grow Your Stash Faster: High Yield Savings with CiT Bank
- Automatic Saving: Qapital
- Free 401(k) Analysis: blooom
Two Perspectives, One Team
No matter how your marriage started out, at some point the honeymoon is over and the two of you are dealing with the realities of the day to day.
Many times the big eye-opener is disagreements about money. And that's not necessarily a bad thing.
Lori Pune a couple's mediator commented that having arguments about finances can be expected with married couples.
The truth is most of the time it's not necessarily the numbers but it's what we bring to the marriage that causes us to bicker and nitpick.
What does that mean?
Our previous experiences with money have a huge impact on how we view it and how we act towards it.
Maybe we picked up unproductive habits because of our role models. If money was a tense topic growing up or we've seen the big issues sidestep to completely avoid fights then you may feel unprepared on how to best talk about it.
Differences in cultures can be another source of tension. One of you may have family who expects you to take care of them when they get older. While the other was raised with the idea that each generation is self-sufficient.
Don't forget just because you're married, doesn't mean you're the same.
I can tell you that some of the traits that made me fall in love with my husband can also be some of the more frustrating ones to deal with when we have a disagreement.
His thoughtful and deliberate discussions become dragging his feet with big decisions or at least that's how I feel in the moment.
This isn't about making excuses. This is about understanding where your spouse is coming from.
Once you can both see why each other's approaching this from a certain perspective it can make it easier to work with them.
Toni and her husband Colin had to deal with their differences head-on when they were looking to dump over $100,00 of debt.
Find Common Ground
If you're both looking to pay off debt, there have to be some expenses you can agree on that need to be trimmed or eliminated.
Start with those.
Come up with a few ways you can work together on saving money (or making more if that's your approach).
Lead By Example
I love how Toni took the lead in certain activities like taking the family out and began looking for ways they could have fun and save.
Sometimes we spend so much energy and time arguing our case, that miss opportunities to show our spouses how things could be.
Review Your Progress
Just because you don't see eye to eye doesn't mean you just stop talking about money. Toni and Colin worked together and stayed on top of their finances.
Eventually, through Toni's example and encouragement, Colin was won over and the two became debt free.
I call that a win-win!
Jumpstart Your Marriage and Money Course
Want to give your marriage and bank account a boost? Pick up Jumpstart Your Marriage and Money course.
Jumpstart focuses on the big wins including earning more. Get LIFETIME access to a four-week course design to help you:
- Stop fighting about money and create a budget that you BOTH LOVE
- Automate your money
- Pay off your debt faster
Plus more!
You can get lifetime access here!
